Did I raise you to be a pussy?" No." Damn skippy. I fucking raised you to be a man. So fucking tell thatgirl you want to have her babies already." I don't wanna have her babies. I just want her to like me the way Ilike her." Also don't be so literal minded." See? I'm so inside-out now about her there's no way I can sayanything. I'll say something stupid like, 'I want to be the mother ofyour children' or something." Do you?" No. I don't want to be anybody's mother of anybody's children. I. Just so I can be so degraded and depraved.As I drive toward the park, I talk to myself in the car. I’m not losing my mind, no. But it feels good to hear out loud, some of the things I am thinking. To hear, stated plainly and calmly, what I plan on doing. “I wonder if I’ll meet a man out in the woods?” I say, hearing my own voice echo in the car. “I hope he uses my mouth as a cunt. I like it when strangers fuck me in the mouth.” It feels good to say this and to hear it.I turn into the park and. At my house, we lit the Chanukah candles, whipped through the prayers and tore into the gifts. No sentimentality was wasted on this holiday.My gift was in a very small package. It was a sizeable gift certificate to Bloomingdale's. However thrilled I might have been, and I wasn't, it wouldn't do to show too much enthusiasm."Thank you. How thoughtful."There was no possibility whatsoever that they would suspect irony. I lacked the depth.I left as quickly as I could and headed over to Jeff's.I was. You’re wearing a grey skirt and a light blue shirt. I look down at my pajama pants and white shirt, and you laugh.You step inside and I close the door behind you. We stand behind the door, looking at each other in silence. I turn my gaze to the floor, not sure what to say. You hold out your hand, and I smile and take it. You pull me in close.“You okay?” you ask.“Mhm.”“You’re shaking.”“Sorry. Yeah, I’m okay.”“You sure you want to…?”I nod quickly. “I’m nervous, but I want... you.”You smile and.
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