Board shorts, or “boardies” are the prefered dress. Back in the 60”s you may remember these being called surfer shorts. “Shorty shorts” swim trunks are ok IF you adhere to above rules for speedos. Compression shorts fall under the same rules—you gotta have a nice ass, and be poppin a 6-pac. LEATHERFuck, just go back and read about jeans and swimwear. If your are a fat sissy faggot prancin around a leather bar screaming 'girl” every other word, and you turn up your nose when you get a little. But about that flower thing?” I persisted.“It’s called a corsage, Joel, and yes that would be very appropriate. Do you know what she’ll be wearing? What color I mean.”“Nope. It doesn’t sound like she’s made up her mind yet. What should I do?”“You can always go with white and hope she doesn’t wear a white dress,” Mom chuckled.“Sounds like a safe bet. Thanks, Mom. I guess I’d get one of those things at the florist, right?”“Yes ... that’s about the only place you’ll find them,” she laughed. “Good. I had my winter overcoat as cover, should I feel the need to hide the throbbing, turgid, fat, six inch cylinder that made a diagonal slash, pointing vaguely northeast, in the front of my beige Dockers.I decided I'd read some nice letters and see how long I could go without breaking down and stroking myself. Utter, self-denying bliss.So I read the nice letters for almost three hours (or it seemed like it, anyway). A particular story (I don't recall exactly what happened in it) involved someone. All too soon, I was watching her pretty body move elegantly towards me, placing the glass on the table and without catching my stare, gave me a smile that threatened to break into a giggle."There you go Matt"That smile would have been enough to floor me, but she knew my name! I know I was a regular, but we had only ever engaged in idle conversations about the weather, how quiet or busy each of us was that day — never introducing ourselves. I only knew hers through the name badge. I watched her.
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