They maul me with their hugs and kisses mixed with cheers of excitement. I hear one of the girls say, “Wow 2nd place and you’re only 15.”I correct her, pretending I knew all along, “Second overall. There is no medal for that, but I won the under 18 age class.” This brings a whole new wave of cheering, hugs and kisses. The local news is filming the entire thing.Thankfully, Grandpa had the presence of mind to move one of the trailers to the finish line. I quickly put my bike in it, and we head to. Whatever you say is not likely to offend me, really,” she said. She was smiling, supportively smiling.“Maybe,” he said. “Ava, I’ve ... I’ve ... I’ve fallen in love with you,” he said. The startled look in the woman’s eyes, her wide-open mouth, said it all.“Huh?” she finally said.“I am fully aware that on a dozen levels me saying what I just said is both indefensible and impossible to expect you to understand,” he said. “What is certain, however, is that it is absolutely true, and I don’t know. Without really bending any laws much less breaking them.When there was any real doubt or the case was a borderline one, that’s where I earned my exalted salary to balance competing interests and come up with a good solution. Or, to put it another way, a solution that didn’t cause too much heartburn for anyone. Sometimes, to tell the truth, it meant holding one’s nose and issuing the visa.I probably shouldn’t talk about it, but now and then there were happier cases or at least ones that were. Then she burst out laughing. Jake took the ice out of his mouth, staring at her, as she doubled up in a fit of giggles. ‘What?’ he asked, genuinely nonplussed. ‘Oh my,’ she said, wiping away the tears from her eyes. ‘This is one for the books.’ Before she could make any more sense, she started laughing hysterically again. Clutching her stomach, she held the wall for support. ‘That’s my ice dildo.’ ‘Ice dildo?’ he repeated slowly while the implications registered. ‘God! You mean you put this.
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