I had a couple of beers and by 9pm, she arrived at my room, dressed in a very short black dress, low cut on the top showing off her breasts, and high heels. She looked absolutely amazing. I had already set up two tequilas but changed the cocktail to 3 Ambien and 1 Ativan. This was more of an inducer to hypnotic state while killing all memory, so I was going to test different waters tonight.She had a glass of wine, and pounded both shots and told me to lets go. She grabbed my arm in a fun way. She told me where her room was and said she'd be up in a minute. I headed upstairs and walked into her room. I did a quick once-over and turned her computer on. Then I noticed that the bed was unmade. I went over and sat down, and then I noticed it- a huge pink dildo thrown quickly under a sheet. I was shocked- she always kept up that "innocent girl" look at school, and I knew from her friends that she was indeed a virgin. I imagined her naked on the very bed I was sitting on thrusting. Even when she was in the girl's body, she wasa boy inside. She never used a girl's form when she thought of herself.Her mind was in total mess. But when she remembered about Kuno and theirkiss, she felt her nipples are hardening again and her knees aretrembling. What was that strange, odd feeling?For the entire day Ranma tried to understand what happened. She eventuallymanaged to turn into a boy again, but when he was passing Kuno in theschool corridor, her heart was beating harder and shiver. But wait, I don’t have to feel those threats and negatives to feel that love. I can just accept what my lover is doing and not react negatively in order to justify that love.But further, I bridge into the subject of trust. Can I trust my own emotions? I already know I can’t; they lie to me. They react from the position of ego and ego protection. They react from the position of memes and belief systems that others have passed on to me, tried to teach me, or insist that I believe. Can I trust.
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