Could I stop it if I wanted or was I too far gone? Did I want him to see it so that I got punished? Those two simple words rattling around my head 24 hours a day – “Punish me”. Do I live for me, for him, for sex or for the sweet pain. I know that my pain is not excessive, it is not scarring mentally or physically, it is not unbearable, it is just aimed at my own tolerance levels. What do I like the most? The actual physical side or the anticipation? I function perfectly well away from. When I peeked inside, she had just one bedside light turned on and she was laying there, completely naked with a huge vibrator between her legs, fucking herself! I was use to her being a slut after seeing her videos and walking in on her a few times, but I had never seen her as openly as this! I could see her entire pussy, all wet and swollen and her big tits and pink nipples too! She was a good looking woman and even my friends from school tell my she's a hot cougar! I watched her a few. Why I asked in returned. “ “She is very cute and I figured you as an easy lay?” laughingly was her response. We both laughed and decided to go to my room. I said lets take the stairs instead since I need the exercise. Into the stairwell we went and I looked down to see two of the young waitresses kissing and fondling each other on the landing below. I watched the Room Service Manager as she watched the two young women in a passionate embrace. I could tell that she was getting turned on so I. In fact, it disgusted me to see my mother act that way. But for some reason I felt compelled to watch her debase herself. It made me hate her that much more.Why couldn't we have a normal life? Isn't that what every 14-year-old girl wants? I never knew my dad, but why couldn't my mother be like my friends' mothers? Why did I have to clean the house and do the laundry? Why couldn't she read to me at night? Why didn't she ever meet with my teachers? Why couldn't I have nice clothes? They didn't.
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