Almostall of them seemed too good to be true. As Mary glanced curiously aroundmy room, I hoped desperately that she couldn't hear my heart thumpingbecause I could have sworn it was drowning out almost everything else tomy own ears. My guest helped herself to a seat on my bed. I floppedinto my desk chair and spun to face her grateful not to have to supportmyself with my own legs for a time."Okay," she started taking a breath. "Jack told me I don't understandboys' feelings. So I was hoping. Kendall was hoping Taylor Jamieson was her answered prayer. Smoothing her wrinkled khaki linen skirt, she took a deep breath and pushed open the cut glass door. Inside, she found a beautifully appointed shop decorated with wood, glass, and stone, with framed designs that looked to be hand painted on the wall. Tay had done nicely for herself. Shrugging off the feeling of inadequacy, she waved away the sales associate and wandered the store. In one case was a collection of colored stones in. When can I expect you?"The man was talking so fast it took Adam a second to catch up."Let's hold on a second," he said. "First off, I've never really heard of Dropping Point. So I'll need a lot more information before I even start to consider working for you." It pays," the man said, as if that were the only thing Adam needed to understand."Which is a good start," Adam replied evenly. "But my time is limited today. I'll need to know the concept, the time expectations and who I'm working with.. I learned that I was always trying to engage in all sorts of forms of self sabotage, and that it took many forms. I had fantasies about becoming a drug addict at the hands of another person. That I lost control to the drugs, and was forcibly feminized by that person. I had fantasies of being indoctrinated into a cult. I felt aroused at the prospect of losing myself to someone else's control. With each exploration, the fetishes and fantasies always went along these lines. Losing control, and not.
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