I assumed it was a natural thing and didn't dwell on it too much. I had gotten used to the mediocre lovemaking and expected it would stay that way for the rest of our lives. I wanted more and would have enjoyed more but did not want to become a nag about it. Now it all became clear on a different level. From her frequent trips to Lancaster over the past fifteen years I could only conclude that the affair was on going. I do not have a confrontational nature but I felt I would have to mention it. I guess that I really want it to be a spiritual act. Anything less is really phony. I don’t think that I’m ready yet. I’m going to change my wish: I want to be able to make love as a spiritual act.’ I replied: ‘I see a lot of wisdom in that answer. You have just made a giant stride toward getting your wish.’ She smiled. She said: ‘In the mean time there is something else that I would like.’ I asked: ‘What?’ She answered: ‘A back rub.’ I said: ‘OK.’ We stood and moved toward the first bedroom.. One night after the boys were in bed, I lay in our bed with my laptop, and found several websites dedicated to erotica. Oh my, I never realized how conventional and boring my husband and I had become. It was the good old missionary position, and never varied from that, and our lovemaking had gone from twice a week to twice a month, if that. On this website, you could send a private message to the author. Everyone had a nickname, so it was anonymous, if you wanted it to be that way. Of. Mom always took long showers and I knew she probably just went in. I had heard the shower turn on just as I passed the bathroom. I just went about my business. I went into the other bathroom, took a shower and came out. I had my research project on my mind but I didn’t want to hit the books quite yet. This was October, and I wanted to watch a little sports TV. So I turned it on and just lounged on the couch, flipping channels. Mom was going to come out of the shower and give me some food. I.
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