As I stood there, feeling utterly humiliated, the scent of steak reachedmy nostrils. Then came coffee. Next was eggs. And finally, toast. Mymouth was watering. I recriminated myself for earning punishments butknew that if I hadn't given them those excuses to discipline me, theywould have found others. I had to listen to Tyra serving him his foodand cooing over him. Then I heard Luke eating while she prepared alighter meal for herself. I wished I had something else to wear besidesthat. Asha's mother encouraged her, "Sit on your papa, dear." Her father, bare-chested, was wearing his pyjama only. Obviously he wasn't wearing any underwear. The big bulge was testament to that.Asha sat on his thighs sideways.Her mother retorted, "No, Asha. Sit across his thighs with your back to him so that both of you can watch the TV. Straddle your papa, dear." Her mother adjusted her so that she sat with her legs hanging on either side of his thighs. Her father held her by the waist.Asha was. I didn't even dare record these thougfhts in my diary for fear of my brother or perhaps one of my parents should find it and read it. What would they think of me? Perhaps they would blame Rachel for "seducing" me. I couldn't take that chance and kept all those thoughts locked up in my mind. My masturbation bacame daily, several times a day actually. In the morning before my sister woke up I masturbated under the bed sheets. I felt relaxed for a good portion of the day at least. One afternoon. "I must've... I'm so sorry..." "Was I in the dream or just a convenient leg?" "I don't remember who was in the dream. I can't believe I didthis!" A single tear dropped out of his eye and landed on the blanket. Helooked at me for a moment and then started crying in earnest. I certainlydidn't mean to make him cry. Kevin and I had been best friends for fouryears, ever since we met in the fifth grade. We talked about everything(except sex since his family was very religious and I wasn't sure.
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