When the casket was in the ground and covered up with dirt a priest sprinkled some pixie dust on the spot then mumbled some words in Latin. And that was it." "You attended your own funeral?" said Tom. "Yes. My dad - I mean _his_ dad invited me. As I say, the event was hardly a big deal. Besides the two Negro gravediggers only three people were there: me, his dad, and the priest his dad hired. So it wasn't a big deal. "Yet there was a sense in which it was a big deal. To my dad. I said how are you going to do that now. She said just watch. She puts her heels up on the dashboard and pulls up her skirt and starts playing with herself.I couldn't believe she was doing this. I asked if she wanted me to pull over so she could do it and she said no just keep driving. I said fine but I need to stay in the right lane and not pass people so no one can see. She looked at me and said if I didn't drive the way I normally do I wouldn't get anything from her for a while. I said what. "Can you handle 15 days"?I said, "Well it sounds like I will have to".As we talk the bartender brings me a drink and a shot, "who ordered this"?She drives us home and I'm thinking she going to start packing.She calls me to the bedroom and there she is standing holding her plug in vibrator, a towel and some lubricant."Can you be a dear?" she says.She climbs on the bed, lays on her back with her legs pulled up and she instructs me to lie onmy side and perpendicular to her.Her legs are over my. And while I was praying as hard as ever, the nose of this battered Kittyhawk was growing heavier and heavier. ‘Come on. Crank. Just once more old girl give me a little more.’ With a shake of my head, I tried one last time then gave it up and took the heavy stick in both hands. With nothing but momentum on my side this flying brick was headed to the ground and it was taking me with it. Right into the middle of the Great Western Desert of Egypt. I considered jumping but I dismissed that thought.
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