I sucked at the taut cord of muscle in his neck, while I stroked his broad shoulders, his muscular biceps, his washboard abs and bulging pecs. I buried my nose in his sparse chest hair, treasuring his smell and his little gasps of pleasure as I gently pinched and rolled his nipple. I explored the tantalizing recess of his belly button with my tongue while I gripped his waist with desperate strength, afraid he would disappear on me again if I let go.And he responded, moaning and writhing. Screaming, I struggle to break free from james but he does not let go.– please…Stop. I cannot take it anymore –Now I am crying without tears. I am breathless neck use of his grip on my neck and my arms hurt because of his lock on them. Johnny starts finger fucking my pussy, the usual way but at an unusual pace. Unable to take it, I pull my legs closer. He slaps my thighs saying,– open it up, bitch! –He starts finger fucking me at a pace that even the camera can hardly catch. I struggle to break. I looked at this amazing man/child, the boy I’d fallen in love with. I knew that’s what it was, now. I had gone beyond just scratching an old itch. I loved him. I had always assumed the Army would be my groom, and that I’d never be in one place long enough to forge the kind of bond that leads to getting married and having children. And, after the Army, of course, I hadn’t thought there’d ever be another man in my life. Nuns don’t get to have men in their lives. Not in that way, anyhow.I felt. .. I mean, we kind of wondered what you write about and ... oh god I’m not really that girl but I figured I could get to know you a little better by ... is this really what you’re writing? Like, sex stuff?”I don’t want to leave her hanging here but I should explain. Of course I’m writing the next Great American Novel. Who isn’t? But honestly, a lot of times when I’m moving the pencil what comes out isn’t greatness or even novelness. We’re taught to honor the process: a writer writes; don’t.
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