I smiled and kissed her. She was wearing so much jewelry and looked so good, that it felt strange to mess it all up. I slowly put the necklace around her neck and screwed it into place. Then I took some of the red powder and smeared it on her forehead. She took off her sari and lay there in her petticoat and blouse. She looked amazing. She switched into being super shy and resistant. She would not let me part her legs and so the games began. I ripped her blouse and squeezed her breasts. She. We lost our pride, our hope, our dignity, our innocence. Worst of all, we lost our idealism, the trait that we shared, the spiritual being that connected us when we joined our hands together, lost in the stars and each other. I felt inadequate. Was I not worth living for? I feel nothing but shame for every moment of it. I wish you’d come back here, to where I first discovered you. I wish I could beg your forgiveness, I wish I could take your hands again and convince you with every cell in my. ‘But look, Stacey, I wanted to talk to you because I have a problem with you, um…’ ‘I know,’ Stacey spoke up, taking control of the conversation. ‘Of course you have a problem, you idiot!’ She gave me a quick grin. ‘Look, maybe I’m out of line because I’m not your sponsor, but Karen is an idiot, too! And I’m not saying that just because I think she’s a frigid bitch. You cannot remain celibate for over two years and expect not to have a problem.’ Wow. I felt a wave of sympathy. I knew Michael. I wished that I was female again so I could go and comfort him without rejection, but I knew that to just slip my earring back on would not be explanation enough. I felt his intense gaze on me and I lowered my eyes with embarrassment. He began to mutter almost inaudibly..."A dream... Gotta be a dream," he said over and over again. I felt terrible. I had seduced the best friend I had in the world in a false female form under false pretenses, for basically my own selfish reasons.Now had come the.
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